How To Kick Stress to the Curb & Get in the Mood

Life just wouldn’t be life without changes and challenges along the way. Some of these are bound to be more stressful than thrilling, but whatever the source, stress can play a large role in getting you down when it comes to ~getting down~. After all, it can be hard to focus on your own or a partner’s pleasure in bed when your mind is distracted by something less enjoyable, from pressure at work to the COVID-19 pandemic. In the lead up to Men’s Health Week, the Sexyland Fun Specialists want to share some of our easy tips to help you maintain a happy and healthy sex life through stressful periods.

How stress affects your sexual performance & happiness

If you’ve been struggling with your mood, you might also have noticed that you’ve been struggling to get in the mood too, both with a partner or on your own. This can interfere with your usual activities in bed as stress can cause a low libido, reducing your interest in sexual activity in general. Even if you can get in the mood, you may also have trouble achieving and maintaining an erection as stress and anxiety have also been linked to erectile dysfunction (AKA ‘impotence’) in men. In a frustratingly cruel twist of irony, low libido, performance anxiety, and ED can exacerbate your stress levels and compound the issue.

Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about how you feel so you can help them understand what you’re going through and where you’re coming from. If you’re not in the mood to go all the way, you can still enjoy sexual pleasure together with mutual masturbation, or you can try prioritising your partner’s pleasure if they’re feeling frisky and you’re willing to focus entirely on them.

Indulge your one-track mind

You may be surprised to learn that your most powerful sex organ is your brain, not your genitals! This is where feeling sexual desire starts, and your body relies on hormones and chemicals in the brain to charge up your libido and send blood flow to your genitals and other erogenous zones. When your mind is distracted by negative feelings, it can make arousal and sex more difficult, so give yourself a helping hand by getting it racing in a different direction!

Dirty talk, suggestive innuendo, and not-so-subtle hints are a great way to tease and flirt with a partner to get the two of you turned on. It engages you on multiple layers that go beyond just physical touch, and straddles the line (see what we did there?) between creating tempting imagery and providing inspiration for new things you may want to try together.

Try voicing your deepest desires and secret fantasies that you normally keep to yourself if you really want to get your partner’s attention, or you can keep it simple with things you already know you both enjoy. Tell them how much you love the way they look or sound when you do that thing for them, or how crazy it drives you when they wear/do that other thing. Make them extra hot under the collar by leaning in close and nuzzling their neck as you murmur your message and the two of you are sure to be rarin’ to go in no time!

Toys, toys, and more toys

You can always enhance sex with adult toys that take your bedroom encounters to the next level and introduce new elements of fun into play! There are so many options available for all genders and stimulation preferences, which you can use on yourself or your partner and vice versa, depending on how up to sex you’re feeling.

If your partner is male, try a simple masturbator that doesn’t distract either of you from your intimate time together, like the Reusable Air-Tech Vacuum Cup Masturbator by TENGA®! This toy features an innovative new airflow system with a ribbed spiral design along the outside of the internal sleeve that lets air flow out of the case while also trapping some of it in air pockets. This creates an internal vacuum for extra strong suction and knee-shaking stimulation. Top it off with the wickedly textured interior lined with round bumps and nodes, and your partner’s sure to feel like they’re on top of the world, with you by their side! You can also grab a pair of them so the two of you can enjoy the sensations together.

If your partner is female, ask what sort of sensation and stimulation they prefer as some women prefer penetrative internal stimulation and others prefer external clitoral sensations. To get the best of both worlds, a rabbit vibrator is just the ticket, and you can make it feel as close to sex as you like with a thrusting model like the Pretty Love Dorothy - Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator! With 3 thrusting speeds and 12 tantalising vibration functions, you’ll love watching your lucky lady experiment with all the thrilling combinations!

As always, if you suspect deeper issues like depression and anxiety, we encourage you to seek help from a medical professional like your doctor or a therapist. After all, you deserve to be happy both in and out of the bedroom!