Sexyland's Guide to Celebrating Gay Pride Between the Sheets

Just because you’re shivering in the fresh winter chill doesn’t mean you can’t turn up the heat in the bedroom! June marks the arrival of a significant month for LGBTQIA+ people worldwide, bringing with it a chance to celebrate our community’s existence, remember our history, and continue to strive towards a future built on a foundation of equality for all. With COVID-19 still lurking around our streets though, it’s important to remember to put the safety of yourself and others first. If this means forgoing public festivities in favour of staying indoors this year, that’s totally okay! Whether you’re celebrating Pride Month with a long-term partner or your newest match on Tinder/Grindr/Scissr, Sexyland’s Fun Specialists have the hottest tips to help queer folks and allies alike come together and, well, come together, if you know what we mean...

Let your freak flag fly next to your rainbow one

Whatever your stance is on the ‘kink at Pride’ discourse, fetishwear has had a significant presence at pride events ever since the first march in 1970. Even if you prefer to save your gear for private viewings behind closed doors, once you’re in an environment you feel comfortable with showing it off, feel free to let your sense of style take flight! Sexyland has a great range of fetishwear for both men and women, plus plenty of lust-worthy looks from gay fashion icons like Andrew Christian to help you strut your stuff and feel your most confident, sexy self! You can wear them on their own or with other lingerie in the bedroom, or with everyday clothing as a subtle nod to your passions and sexual interests.

BDSM-friendly online forums like FetLife and loads of the self-managed communities on Reddit are particularly active during Pride Month, though they’re alive and thriving all year round. In online spaces like these, it’s super easy to find like-minded individuals with plenty of advice, photo inspiration, and stories to share if you’re still just exploring your curiosity!

Non-penetrative sex, or ‘outercourse’

We’ll say it louder for the people in the back: sex doesn’t need to involve physical penetration to be considered sex. According to sexuality psychologist Laurie Mintz, the current heteronormative attitude of ‘intercourse = sex’ and ‘everything before intercourse = foreplay' has us “buying into the cultural script that sex should proceed as follows: foreplay (just enough to get ready for intercourse), intercourse (where both [partners] orgasm), and game over". But sex doesn't have to involve intercourse at all, particularly if you’re nervous about or not ready for being penetrated by or penetrating a partner, or are only just starting to explore your sexuality. Pride is for everyone, including those who aren’t fully out or aren’t ready to be loud about their sexuality. Non-penetrative stimulation methods can enhance penetration, but can also serve as the entire sex-perience and may improve your odds of orgasming, so it’s well worth mastering outercourse for better intercourse!

The human body is a sensitive smorgasbord of sensation, and you might be surprised how many different areas can feel ultra-pleasurable when stimulated. Nipples are a fantastic spot to start, and basic stimulation techniques like licking, sucking, and tweaking can already feel mind-blowingly awesome depending on the individual. To ramp up the intensity, you can incorporate toys like the Nipple Play™ Nipplettes® - Vibrating Nipple Clamps or some easy temperature play! Try sucking on an ice cube before putting your mouth over your partner’s nipples and slowly running your chilled tongue all over the area. We promise it’ll send shivers up and down their spine in the best way possible!

How to make penetrative sex more enjoyable for everyone

If you’re ready to take the plunge, great! As always, communication is key between all parties involved to make sure you’re okay with how things feel and the speed they’re progressing at, both physically and mentally. Lubricant and condoms are always a good idea to make the penetration safer and more comfortable, whether you two are using a body part or a toy. Here’s how to get started:

Making penetrative sex more comfortable for givers

If you’re not used to being the one doing the penetrating or you’re not used to penetrating certain types of orifices like the vagina or anus, it never hurts to do your research beforehand. A simple ‘how to do/use...’ question in your preferred search engine will take you to hundreds, if not thousands of comprehensive guides on what to expect from the encounter, whether you're using your fingers, penis, or a toy. Not only will this help you prepare for what you’re about to do, it can also teach you how to please your partner better!

Making penetrative sex more comfortable for receivers

Again, research and adequate preparation are going to be your best friends here, as well as knowing yourself and your body. Getting ready for penetration could involve different things for different people, including relaxing massage, foreplay, and pre-emptive hygiene measures like douching (especially in the case of anal sex). If your partner’s size is too much for you to handle comfortably, consider using a smaller toy for penetration while they go to town on other parts of your body (remember what we said about combining outercourse with intercourse?). For example, you and your partner can acquire a beginner-friendly toy like this New Comers Strap-On & Silicone Dildo Set, or you can get yourself a beginner’s anal training kit and wear a petite butt plug while performing oral on your lover!

As long as you’re both in your comfort zones, the options are pretty limitless with the right combination of toys and tools, and you’re free to explore them at your own pace this Pride Month!