How to Masturbate – From Getting Started to Getting Spicy

Ready to rock your body and your world? Masturbation May is, of course, the perfect time to. Whether you’re starting from scratch or well-versed in the intricacies of your own pleasure, it never hurts to get back to basics! Different strokes suit different folks, and not all techniques suit everybody’s preferences. Read on for our top tips to exploring and enjoying yourself the old-fashioned way, with a couple of modern twists!

Get to know your anatomy

We know, we know, it’s not sexy to look at medical diagrams, but there are so many pleasure zones that you deserve to know about to get the most out of your masturbating.

The obvious one for vulva-owners is the clitoris, which is a super-sensitive bean-like bump above the urethra and vaginal opening. It lives under a protective ‘cloak’ of sorts called the clitoral hood, which you can gently pull back to expose the external ‘glans’ part of the clitoris. The glans is just the tip of the iceberg since the clitoris actually extends into the body several centimetres, which could be why clitoral orgasms can feel so deep and have ripple-like effects all over your body.

While vaginal penetration is a popular method of masturbating, clitoral stimulation is how many women regularly orgasm (and can sometimes be the only way for you to reach the big O), so it’s well worth getting familiar with your clitoris. However, it’s also a good idea to explore the rest of the vulva, especially if you like to build up your pleasure slowly over time or tease yourself instead of going from 0-100. For example, the labia are full of nerves, particularly the labia minora (the ‘inner lips’), and they respond well to gentle stroking or rubbing.

In most circumstances for penises, the most sensitive areas are the head and the frenulum, which is the elastic band of tissue that joins the head underside with the inner surface of the foreskin (or the end of the shaft if you’re circumcised). Of course, the entire shaft and even the testicles can feel incredible when stroked, rubbed, or squeezed, and you can experiment with different techniques, hand movements, positions, and more to add some variety to your sensations to discover what you like best.

Outside of the penis, the prostate is a haven of ultra-sensitive pleasure receptors that men of any sexual orientation can enjoy stimulating for orgasms that will blow more than just your mind. Even simple additions like lubricant can really heat things up, or cool them down if you go for sensation play lubes like warming or chilling ones (but really, adding lube is ALWAYS a good idea, no matter who you are or how you like to get off).

It doesn’t have to be all about genitals though, as there are so many hot spots from head to toe that are a delight to explore, including some pretty unexpected erogenous zones! For example, nipples, the perineum and anal region, and the nape of your neck are sensitive areas on everyone’s body that can enhance how you touch yourself in new and exciting ways, especially if you’ve never tried them out before.

If you’d rather look at a real-life model instead of a chart straight out of a sex education textbook, check yourself out in the mirror, or use a smaller handheld one to get a close up of areas you can’t normally see unless you’re in the Cirque du Soleil. You can even try masturbating in front of the mirror to observe how your whole body reacts to certain kinds of stimulation!

Real techniques for handmade orgasms

For all people, comfort is key. After all, it’s hard to keep your mind (and body) focused on getting off when your leg is cramping or your back is aching in an awkward position, so make sure your body is at ease in whatever position you choose. This could be standing up, sitting upright with your back supported by a headboard or chair, or lying face down – anything goes!

For vulva-havers, learning to masturbate can be versatile but confusing due to there being external and internal elements (not to mention all the stigma and myths surrounding women and masturbation). It’s really up to you whether you’d rather keep it outside your body or if you want to explore yourself internally, depending on what feels best for you and what you’re comfortable with. Some popular techniques include:

• Using your middle finger (or a combination of any between your index and pinky) to rub the clitoris in rhythmic circular motions, as slow or as fast as you like. You can tailor the intensity to your liking by using different levels of pressure, changing how many fingers you use, or adjusting your clitoral hood.
• Moving your hips to grind against a pillow or other soft but sturdy objects, like a couch arm. This is often done cowgirl style or in a similar position where you’re on your knees, but it can also work with you lying face down and humping against your stuffed object at a downwards angle.
• Lubricate and insert as many fingers as you’re comfortable with into your vagina, going about 2-3 inches deep to where your G-spot usually is (but don’t worry, this will still feel good even if you don’t hit the spot exactly). Curl your fingers slightly so they’re turned upwards inside yourself and start rocking them in a ‘come-hither’ motion, like you’re beckoning your orgasm to come forth!

For penis-havers, the classic stroking motion of making a fist around your shaft and running your hand up and down is a simple – but effective – method. It’s often the first way men learn to masturbate when they develop an interest in it around puberty. To spice it up, you can try:

• Rotating your closed fist around your shaft as you stroke instead of a straight up-and-down action. You can also switch up the number of fingers you use for this, from the full fist to just your thumb and forefinger.
• Using your hips to thrust back and forth into your hand instead of relying solely on your wrist and forearm movements – take that, tennis elbow!
• Edging, or stopping yourself from ejaculating just as you reach the peak or cusp before the big event. So many men swear by this as a great way to master orgasm control, and it also has the added benefit of intensifying your eventual orgasm!

Spicing up masturbation with something sexy from the adult toy box

Oh boy, where to start? The world of adult toys is a wide and wonderful one, with many options to suit all genders and stimulation preferences. In this day and age, versatility is king, because having the same kind of orgasm again and again is like having the same kind of pizza again and again – it’s still great, but it’s going to get boring eventually. As such, Sexyland’s top toy picks are those that can multitask or provide a variety of different sensations!

For vulva-owners, dual stimulation (internal and external) is quite literally getting the best of both worlds simultaneously. You can pamper your clitoris and G-spot at the same time with a classic rabbit vibrator, and you can tailor your experience further if you pick a toy that lets you control the G-spot and clitoral motors separately. For a little bit of variety, the Santa Monica Starlet Thumping Rabbit Vibrator from CalExotics’ California Dreaming™ range is a great choice! The bulbous head sits atop a curved shaft for perfect positioning, and it features a thumping pad that places 3 modes of thrilling oscillation right up against your G-spot. The soft, pointed clitoral teaser dances over your clitoris in 10 tantalising vibration modes for the complete blended orgasm experience.

For penis-owners, why not treat yourself to an experience that’s being hailed as the ‘closest thing akin to a female orgasm for men’? The Arcwave™ - Ion Pleasure Air™ Stroker is a ground-breaking male toy on the scene, which uses the same Pleasure Air technology that women have been enjoying worldwide in cult-favourite toys like the Womanizer Premium since 2014. This toy targets your Pacinian pleasure receptors, which are highly sensitive nerve endings in your skin that respond to rapid indentations like vibration or rapid air pressure changes such as Pleasure Air technology. The airwaves suck and massage your frenulum specifically for a brand-new type of orgasm that has a more varied buildup, is more intense, lasts longer, and isn't something you can achieve just by stroking. One review from a Sexyland customer says that they “climaxed so massively and unexpectedly...a CSI team would have lit up the southern hemisphere with a blacklight in [their] room”. Talk about a glowing review!