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We Tried the 5 Best Vibrators for 2023 & Here Are Our Thoughts
Something that always surprises new friends of mine is how lucky I’ve gotten with my sweet job history. Since I’m a gamer, we all thought demonstrating VR video games on behalf of Microsoft was forever going to be the coolest part of my career. Nowadays though, I reckon getting to test out sex toys and write about them for Sexyland is going to be harder to top!
Hi, y'all. I’m Nora Jo, and I’m a polyamorous, pansexual, cisgender woman of colour who’s been part of Sexyland’s product team since 2020. I write the product descriptions for our online store, and sometimes my job involves testing sex toys — talk about twisting my arm, right? 😜
(And what can I say, sometimes I just like putting my staff discount to good use.)
Here are my honest thoughts on some of the best sex toys for women at Sexyland that I’ve personally tried and loved! Get ready for all the juicy details I’d never be allowed to publish in our product descriptions…
Best vibrators for direct stimulation
Pretty Love Super Power Vibrating Gun Massager
Let’s kick this list off with a bang, and the bangs don’t get much bigger than this gun-shaped vibrator! It doesn’t shoot bullets, but you’ll definitely feel your soul (and tension) leaving your body thanks to its MEGA-strong vibrations. I recommend this for folks who love high-pressure, high-intensity jackhammer-like sensations. Honestly, I used to think I was one of those people, but this toy took that belief of mine and laughed in my face. I personally only use the PL Super Power Gun to massage tired muscles, and even then, it’s a lot.
I am constantly amazed at just how intense this thing is, especially considering it’s rechargeable instead of having a power cord that anchors it to a wall outlet. This means you can move the gun massager all over your body or a partner’s with ease, though I have no doubt that if I ever tried using this on my genitals, I would be overwhelmed almost instantly. On the plus side, if I’m ever facing the arduous task of demolishing a building with no power tools, I won’t be completely out of luck with this baby on my side!
While the hefty price tag of this wand might be intimidating, I promise you that this luxury wand and its attachments are absolutely ~magic~. This is my go-to toy because it’s perfect for every occasion, whether you’re looking to get off quickly and let the post-orgasm oxytocin lull you into a blissful sleep or if you want to take your time edging yourself (or a partner). There are 6 vibration modes, each in 5 speeds that you can adjust in either direction to get your perfect intensity, not just for your erogenous zones but anywhere your body needs some good vibes.
Since I’m one of the many vulva-havers out there who can’t orgasm through penetration alone, the wand is perfect as is for external, clitoris-only stimulation. However, I got curious about the attachments, and since you’re reading this, I know you are too! I know now that if I can muster up the energy to use the attachments (with a water-based lubricant of course), it’s always worth the effort! Before I tried the Kyro’s rabbit attachment, I’d only ever had a squirting orgasm once in my life, and it had been so long ago that I’d almost forgotten it was something I could do. The experience was so good that I actually never got around to trying the other dual ears attachment on myself, but I imagine it would feel just as pleasurable on the clitoris and nipples, or even stroked along a penis-having partner’s shaft. The Kyro wand really has something to offer everyone, making it a great gender-neutral toy choice too!
Best vibrating clitoral stimulators that don’t make direct contact
The Satisfyer Pro 2 Generation 3 Liquid Air Pulse Clitoral Vibrator
Even if it wasn’t literally for my job, it's not like I would turn down the opportunity to experience the latest version of one of the most popular sex toys on the planet!
The third-gen Satisfyer Pro 2 comes with two silicone attachment heads, the original one and the new Liquid Air Technology head. The original head offers all the same sensations as the bestselling predecessor Satisfyer Pro 2, which I also own. This silicone head is shaped like a hollow chamber and provides contactless stimulation through air pressure waves inside the hollow part. The chamber also vibrates around the clitoris rather than directly against it, which adds an extra layer of sensation to the fun.
To me, the contactless air pulses feel like little puffs of air being rapidly and repeatedly tapped against my clitoris, which builds up to quite a strong orgasm in almost no time at all. The fact that the suction stimulation doesn't make direct contact with me also feels very different from my standard vibrating toys, and it tends to let me go again sooner than a vibration orgasm would because I'm not as overly sensitive afterwards. I've always valued quality over quantity, and that goes for everything, including orgasms. However, as a polyamorous pansexual, I also believe that if you can have both quality and quantity, have both 😉
That new head though…
Oh. My. God.
Fellow clitoris-havers, if you've ever lingered over a well-placed bath jet to indulge in those underwater pulsations, the new Liquid Air Technology head is the one for you. It has an ultra-thin sheet of silicone over the chamber that flutters against your clitoris when you activate the air pulse or vibration settings. The sensation resembles rushing surges of flowing water and feels just like a luxurious hot tub jet, minus the need for a hot tub. It’s also been upgraded from matte ABS plastic to a 100% silicone body for a premium feel in your hand that's also totally waterproof — move over, rubber ducky, there’s a better bath companion in town now.
Want even more details? Stay tuned for an in-depth breakdown of the Satisfyer Pro 2 and the new third-generation Satisfyer Pro 2 in two weeks!
I can’t say I wasn’t a little curious when the viral rose-shaped sex toy that was taking over the internet landed on my desk one day. I already had my Satisfyer Pro 2 for clitoral satisfaction, but I couldn’t resist that cute floral design, and for under $50, can you blame me?
This toy uses internal vibration to generate rotating airflow that creates a suction-like effect, which feels like a fluttering air massage against the clitoris. I find the compact, rounded design quite comfortable in my hand, and easy to move around until I have it in the right spot. The opening to put around the clitoris is on the smaller side, but once it’s in place, believe me, you won’t be thinking about that, or anything else really. It’s also waterproof, so whether you're enjoying yourself in the sheets or in the shower, you can expect a wet and wild time. I'm talkin' eyes rolling, toes curling, fists clenching, the works!
Let’s just say that for the price and novelty, the Rose Vibrator beats a bouquet of real roses any day… 🌹
Best Bluetooth sex toys for hands-free vibrations
Once upon a time, I was really into staying up to date with tech. I’d spend hours scouring geek news sites to read about everything from the newest phone to the most recent graphics card I could rebuild my gaming PC around. I had to have the latest versions of everything.
Then I turned 24 and just couldn’t be bothered keeping up with it all anymore 🧓
I let the smart home trend pass me by, I’ve never BeenReal, and I didn’t think I’d ever bother with sex toys that had Bluetooth connectivity…until I tried one.
To be clear, I didn’t buy my We-Vibe Sync 2 for the app-compatible features, I bought it because I liked the idea of a couples vibrator that would give me my much-needed clitoral stimulation while a penetrating partner was also enjoying themselves. The Sync has an adjustable C-shaped design that cups the wearer’s body while both heads vibrate; one head sits on the clitoris while the other rests against the G-spot, and the G-spot arm is nice and flat so there’s room for a partner to penetrate.
The first few times I used the Sync with someone else, we didn’t even set up the app since the separate remote control was already perfect for conveniently switching settings in the heat of the moment. The curiosity to try the app came when I had the urge to buy something I could use discreetly in public (hey, you never know when the moment will strike), and then I had a eureka! moment — surely I could just use the Sync 2 as a wearable vibrator under my clothes, right?
Only one way to find out.
I used some water-based lubricant on the G-spot arm and inserted it into place, then got dressed as normal. I decided to go with jeans that day, figuring that denim would muffle any noise from the vibration. Luckily, there were no discernible lumps thanks to the toy’s relatively slim profile, and the vibrations were quiet enough that the ambient volume of an average supermarket would be able to disguise them.
I quite enjoyed being able to subtly fiddle with my phone and switch vibe settings without anyone around me knowing, but the real fun came when I messaged one of my partners to download the app, sent them the invite link to my specific toy, and let them control it long-distance. It was certainly one of the more interesting grocery shops of my life!
If you found this level of detail on some of Australia’s most popular sex toys helpful, don’t be afraid to ask our friendly Fun Specialists for more of our advice and recommendations. You can reach out to us through our online chat function or while shopping in Sexyland’s adult stores, and we have plenty of insightful experiences to share so you can find your perfect sex toy!
Now get out there and go love yourselves.
NJ
