Self-Operating Masturbators & Couple's Play: Enhancing Intimacy Together

In recent years, there’s been a massive positive societal shift towards accepting (and even encouraging) sex toys for women and people with vulvas, but sadly, the same cannot be said for men’s sex toys. There’s still a lot of stigma attached to male adult toys and as a result, the stigma extends to the people who use them, which is such a shame — if we can celebrate women who are open to exploring their sexual wellness with adult toys, why not champion men who do the same?

In particular, the taboo around men’s sex toys is directed towards masturbators and toys designed to stroke the penis but is notably absent from cock rings, which can be used as a couple.

What if we told you that masturbators can be used for intimacy enhancement as a couple too? All it takes is an open mind and a little creativity…

How to integrate masturbators into intimate moments for couples

One of the most common misconceptions about using masturbators in couple's play is that it leaves out the partner who isn’t using the masturbator, but there are plenty of ways to get the other person involved. The other person can always take control of the masturbator toy, deciding how they’d like to tease and please their lover by varying stroke depth, speed, and even tightness if the toy is squeezable. See-through strokers such as the Clear Lovers Edition of the world-famous TENGA® Egg or open-ended options that don’t completely cover the penis like Fun Factory’s Manta Penis Stroker are another great way to let the other person see all the hot action. If the masturbator is small enough like the Fleshlight® Quickshot™, they can even provide a little oral help at the tip of the penis, which is one of the most pleasurable parts to stimulate!

Understanding self-operating masturbators

Self-operating or ‘automatic’ male masturbators like the Fleshlight Universal Launch, the Autoblow AI Ultra, and the Kiiroo Keon are essentially toys that stroke the user’s penis and do all the work for them. This is fantastic for all people with penises, especially those who enjoy stroking sensations but can’t make the necessary movements for it during solo use due to injury or disability. They’re also a great way to enhance the sexual experience for couples as the best automatic masturbators take all the work out of stroking, meaning both partners are free to explore elsewhere around their bodies!

Creative ways to enhance couple’s intimacy with an automatic masturbator

Automatic masturbator units tend to be on the bulkier side and almost always encompass the entire penis, but fear not — there are still plenty of ways to make the other person feel included! One of the main benefits of automatic masturbators during couples play is that nobody’s hands are busy stroking, meaning everyone’s hands (and mouths) are free for other things.

Plenty of people with penises and men are into face sitting (an oral sex act where the receiver straddles the giver’s face), and it’s a match made in heaven with an automatic masturbator since both people get to enjoy themselves!

If the person using the masturbator is into pegging or being anally penetrated by a partner with a penis, a hands-free masturbator option could be just the ticket to making this happen. Pair any of the Maxtasy masturbators with the Maxtasy Strap-On Masturbator Harness and they can enjoy the sensations of penetrating something while being penetrated at the same time!

For all our kinky readers, wand vibrators may be the king of forced orgasm play, but the automatic masturbator might just be part of the new wave of sex toys that dare their users to resist their power. If you’ve got a bondage table or similar setup that lets the captive lie flat on their back, an automatic masturbator is a great tool for forced orgasm play and orgasm denial, depending on how merciful the person in charge is feeling. The Fleshlight Universal Launch has the steadiest base out of the self-operating masturbators mentioned above, and the looped handholds mean you can tie the unit firmly into place with some rope.

Want to play long-distance? Fleshlight’s Universal Launch has a smartphone mount included, which is perfect for steamy, relationship-building phone sex over a video call. Alternatively, if you really want to feel as though you’re right there with each other, try a sex toy duo that’s paired with each other! Lovense’s Max 2 Masturbator and Nora Rabbit Vibrator are both app-compatible so your partner can take control of your toy from anywhere in the world, and these two toys have a special connection via the app’s Long Distance Sex mode. This syncs the toys and makes them react to your partner’s movements in real-time so you feel closer than ever, even while you’re apart.

Ready to experience the magic a masturbator can bring to your sex life? Check out Sexyland’s online range of the best male masturbators and get 2-hour delivery on bestselling toys and accessories so you can jump straight into the fun!