Sexual Healing: The Ultimate Guide to Sex Toys
With spring around the corner, it’s out with the old and in with the new around Sexyland! For more seasoned sex toy users, this can mean picking up some shiny new toys for their bedside drawers, but some of us may be totally new to sex toys in general. This week, we’re looking at all the must-know basics of what sex toys are and why they’re actually a great thing to have in your life, both in and out of the bedroom, as well as how to use and care for sex toys, plus popular adult toy categories, types, and brands in this one-stop comprehensive sex toys guide!
What are sex toys & why do we need them?
Sex toys are items people use to enhance sexual activities like intercourse or masturbation to make the experience even more pleasurable. You might have also heard them being referred to as ‘adult toys’ or ‘marital aids’, and there are lots of different types to suit all kinds of people and their preferences. It’s perfectly normal to use sex toys, as well as to not use sex toys as long as you’re exercising your choice in a way that is safe, consensual, and gives you what you need to be happy.
People use adult sex toys for many reasons, including:
- experiencing different types of sensations you wouldn’t normally be able to achieve on your own or with a partner
- achieving orgasm more easily — for some people (especially people with vulvas), this is the only way they can orgasm, and there’s no shame in that for you or your partner!
- enjoying yourself solo or with a partner in spite of sexual dysfunction (such as erectile dysfunction), medical conditions (like anorgasmia), or the side effects of certain medications (such as decreased libido)
- affirming gender identity/relieving gender dysphoria for transgender, nonbinary, or gender non-conforming people
- making it easier (or possible) for people with limited mobility or disabilities to masturbate or have sex
What are the health benefits of using sex toys?
Adult sex toys are one of those rare blessed things in life that feel good and are good for you too! Here’s a host of reasons why your health will thank you for introducing adult toys into your sex life, as supported by sexologists, doctors, and other medical professionals:
Physical health benefits of sex toys
- More enjoyment during masturbation and sex — this might seem like an obvious one, but too often, we think of orgasming as the be-all and end-all of sexual pleasure when really, it’s more like the Luxardo-soaked cherry on top of an already delicious dessert. Sex is also about the journey, and if the journey ain’t fun, the quality of the destination can take a hit too, so if you want to maximise pleasure on the way to the finish line with an adult toy, we say bon voyage and enjoy your flight!
- Orgasms result in better sleep — ever noticed how sleep comes a lot easier after you do? That’s because having an orgasm releases an ultra-relaxing hormone cocktail that’ll have you counting sheep after clutching the sheets! Sexologist Jess O'Reilly, PhD says “during sexual arousal, levels of oxytocin can increase significantly, and this can have a calming effect on the mind and body and induce a restful sleep,” which is fabulous news if you’re already in bed anyway…
- Helping with sexual dysfunction — this can take many forms, including premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and diminished genital sensitivity. There are men’s sex toys like penis pumps, masturbators, and cock rings that are designed to get the user hard, increase their stamina, and help erections last longer so they (and their partner) can enjoy the benefits. There are also thrilling toys that provide all-new sensations like electro-stimulation, suction, and rotation to stimulate you in other ways if you’ve become desensitised to your go-to pleasures over time.
Mental health benefits of sex toys
- Improving body confidence — when you know more about how your body works and what makes it feel good, you gain an appreciation for it and the way it can make you feel. “Those who masturbate are more likely to feel positively about their looks and body than those who don’t,” says licensed sex and relationship expert, Dr. Chris Donaghue. "Sex toys allow you to experiment with different sensations, stimulation areas and simultaneous pleasure points in a safe manner, giving you the gift of knowing what makes you feel good. Then, you can repeat this roadmap with yourself or know exactly what to communicate to your partner."
- Overcoming performance anxiety — this can affect people of all genders and impact confidence in the bedroom with partners, regular or new. However, learning how to bring yourself to orgasm with an adult toy or ‘masturbatory tool’ can put your mind at ease and give you the confidence to climax with a playmate.
- Deeper satisfaction in a relationship — according to Dr. Donaghue, “couples who incorporate variety in the bedroom are more likely to stay together long-term, and be open and honest about their desires.” In addition to improving overall communication, trust, and comfort with each other, experimenting with sex toys also helps you both avoid falling into a sexual rut, and we’re all for beating bedroom boredom!
How do sex toys work?
There are lots of different types of adult toys that operate in different ways, whether they’re designed to go on your body, in your body, or around your body (with you inserting part of yourself inside the toy). To figure out what part of the body the toy is for, be sure to read the description provided on the box or product page if you’re buying sex toys online.
Non-motorised insertable sex toys such as anal plugs, anal beads, and dildos offer internal stimulation by filling the vagina and/or anus, and some are specially shaped to hit more sensitive spots inside you like the G-spot or prostate depending on your anatomy. Non-motorised external toys can include clamps and pumps to plump and sensitise your clitoris, nipples, or penis and are typically operated by hand. Non-motorised masturbators act as penis sleeves that the user thrusts themselves into or strokes along their erection, and they are often textured inside for more stimulation along the sensitive head and shaft.
Of course, sex toy manufacturers can motorise just about anything these days, giving toys the ability to vibrate, rotate, suck, thrust, stroke, contract, and even deliver electro-stimulation to keep you coming (back for more that is)!
How to use & care for sex toys
1. Read the instruction manual — we know it’s exciting to tear your new toy out of its packaging and start playing with it as soon as you get home from the adult store, but patience can really pay off here. If you want your first experience with the toy to be as good as it should be, read the instructions. The manual will be full of tips on how to properly use, care for, and store your toy, as well as safety information and general things like whether your toy is waterproof so you can enjoy your toy responsibly and get the most out of it. There might even be more detail on all your toy’s neat functions that weren’t mentioned on the box or online description!
2. Power up — Sexyland includes free batteries with all in-store and online purchases of battery-operated toys, but they won’t be in the toy’s battery compartment yet so you’ll need to insert them yourself before play. Alternatively, for toys with round batteries pre-installed, there’s usually a small slip of paper between the batteries and the contacts that prevents the toy from draining power while sitting in the box, and you’ll need to remove this before starting.
Rechargeable toys sometimes come half-charged straight out of the box, but manufacturers often recommend plugging in your toy’s charging cable and letting it power up to full capacity before you first try it out, which will also help you get to know what your toy is really capable of. A light on the toy will blink while it’s charging and stay lit when it’s done — why not read the manual while you wait? 😉
4. Enjoy! — how you actually go about applying the toy to your body and its functions depends on what kind of toy you have, so when in doubt, refer to the instructions. Here’s a basic breakdown of where the most popular types of sex toys go:
- Dildos and insertable vibrators can always be used vaginally and can be used anally if they have a stopper of some kind (like testicles, a flared handle, external arm, or a suction cup) to prevent it from getting lost in your body.
- Anal plugs and beads go inside the anus and are best paired with anal-specific lubricant, which is usually thicker than regular lubricant for a cushioning effect.
- Prostate stimulators go inside the anus and are best suited to people who have prostates (men and AMAB people). People without prostates can still use them but they won’t get anything more out of a specially shaped prostate stimulator compared to any other anal toy.
- Clitoral stimulators go on or around the clitoris, depending on the toy’s design. You can pull your clitoral hood back or leave it where it is to tailor the toy’s intensity for more control over your pleasure.
- Wand vibrators are external toys and go anywhere on the body that needs massaging, like the neck and shoulders, as well as intimate areas that are craving some lovin’! Vibrating wands themselves are not designed to be used inside the body, but many have insertable attachments available to purchase separately for more versatile fun.
What are some popular sex toys & sex toy brands?
There are lots of brands that specialise in making adult pleasure products, with some making something for everyone and others developing a niche for themselves with proprietary technology and stimulation types. Here are some of the most popular sex toy brands among our customers, as well as their bestselling adult toy products:
- We-Vibe® — this Canadian company makes sex toys for men, women, and couples. You’ve probably heard of their top seller, the We-Vibe Chorus™, which is a wearable vibe that stimulates both partners during penetrative sex and is app-compatible for more ways to play!
- Fleshlight® — this men’s sex toy company is practically a household name, even among folks who don’t use them, specialising in masturbators and dabbling in dildos, with a popular category of toys moulded directly from the world’s favourite female and gay male pornstars. The most popular Fleshlight toy is Riley Reid's Vaginal Masturbator with her unique Utopia texture inside — people just can’t get enough of this brunette bombshell!
- Womanizer™ — this is the team behind Pleasure Air™ Technology which led to the original contactless clitoral stimulation toy, the Womanizer Premium. This clitoral stimulator remains their most popular toy to this day, and is currently enjoying the limelight again with its second version.
- LELO — this Swedish company is beloved for their luxurious designs and premium construction, as evidenced by their ultra-popular Soraya™ 2 Rabbit Vibrator! Silky-smooth silicone, ergonomic handle, metallic accents, and 12 vibration modes make this one sexy toy that looks as good as it feels.
- Pretty Love — this Chinese team has made just about every type of sex toy you can think of, meaning they’ve definitely created something that’ll tickle your fancy. Their Super Power Vibrating Gun Massager certainly lives up to its name with unbelievably strong vibrations that are sure to have your toes curling tighter than ever!
- Satisfyer — you can’t talk about popular sex toy brands without Satisfyer and the ever-viral Satisfyer Pro 2 making an appearance. This toy operates similarly to the Womanizer Premium with contactless air pulse modes that stimulate the clitoris for incredible orgasms that feel completely unique from those caused by regular vibration.
- VUSH — this up-and-coming Australian sex toy brand has had toy collaborations with rap queen Cardi B and Australia’s own Abbie Chatfield! Get the Majesty 2 Wand Vibrator that featured in Cardi’s Up music video, or the Abbie G-Spot Vibrator to experience these celeb-endorsed sex toys for yourself!
How to choose high-quality sex toys
When you’re on the lookout for adult toys to spice up your life behind closed doors, keep the following things in mind to ensure its the best quality:
- Material — solid, non-porous materials like silicone, ABS plastic, glass, metal, and ceramic are much easier to clean and can be fully sanitised, and dual-density designs (with a firm core and a soft outer) offer the most realistic flesh-like sensation. Materials like thermoplastic elastomers and rubbers (TPE/TPR), PVC, and jelly offer a softer feeling that can feel more like real skin, but since these materials are naturally porous, that leaves lots of little holes for bacteria, mould, and germs to hide in and they’re far more difficult to clean properly. If you’re using a sex toy made of something porous, we recommend using a condom with it for the most hygienic experience.
- Price — while it’s true that higher price tags don’t necessarily equal better quality, it’s far safer to assume that a suspiciously low price is too good to be true. Talk to the adult store staff in-person or over Live Chat (if the online store you’re shopping with has it) and ask for their opinion on what options best balance budget and quality if you’re unsure of what to expect.
- User-friendliness — even the most amazing orgasms in the world might struggle to make up for an unpleasant user experience in other areas, like if the toy is uncomfortable to use, difficult to clean, or distractingly loud. If a sex toy brand pays attention to these sorts of things, it shows that they're willing to go the extra mile to make sure you get the best experience with their products, and that's always a good sign! If the store you’re shopping at allows it, ask if you can see a tester or if the staff member personally knows more about the toy than what’s written on the box.
- Brand — is the brand well-known (for the right reasons)? How long have they been operating? How many similar toys have they made to the one you’re planning to buy? Do they specialise in certain types of toys? Consult a staff member for their knowledge if you're not sure where to start.
How much do sex toys cost?
There is no one-size-fits-all price guide to sex toys, but in general, these are some of the factors that will influence the number you’ll be seeing at checkout:
- Number of functions (if any) — this can refer to whether the toy has a way to change functions or form, app-compatibility, included extras like attachments, etc.
- Convenience/user-friendliness — this includes design elements like rechargeable batteries, wireless designs, remote control options, waterproofing, ergonomics, volume level during use, being travel-lockable, and so on.
- Material quality — as we mentioned above, you want to look for smooth, durable, and easy-to clean materials that can be fully sanitised like silicone, borosilicate glass, and metal. Dual-density materials that feel realistic due to their firm core and soft outer will also fetch a higher price than standard single-layered toys.
- Aesthetics and physical design — just like anything else money can buy, sex toys can go for more if they’re visually appealing, even if you're the only person who will witness your new toy's beauty. Things like size can also impact price as larger toys require more material to make but can also offer more power and penetrative pleasure, while smaller toys need less material but must be designed with higher levels of space efficiency and engineering to still deliver all the promised functions. If you're a fan of pretty products, it doesn't matter if nobody else ever sees it — treat yo'self, we say!
Where to buy sex toys
In Australia, people who are 18 years of age and over can buy sex toys at specialty stores, usually called sex shops, sex stores, or adult stores. As adult toys have become more common (and therefore more widely accepted), some pharmacies and large retail stores have started selling them too. You can shop in-person at physical adult stores or buy sex toys online and have them delivered to your door (in plain packaging of course — your secret is safe with us)! No matter how you like to shop, we always recommend only buying sex toys from trusted, certified sellers that have detailed information about their products, like Sexyland or directly from the manufacturer.
As always, our Fun Specialists are happy to help you get the best sex toys for your needs, so don't hesitate to reach out for our sex-pertise and friendly advice!
