Things to Add to Your Sex Bucket List Right Now

Hey y’all! It’s Nora Jo here again, talking about all things sex and how to challenge yourself to try new things in bed. This week, I’m spilling the tea on some of the, shall we say…more adventurous things I’ve experienced (and still want to experience) that might just persuade you to add them to your own collection of sex bucket list ideas.

(It’s totally okay if you don’t have a sex bucket list—think of this as lighthearted inspiration for new sex ideas to try that you can experiment with in your own way if you like, or ignore if it’s not your thing.)

I’ve never had too much difficulty figuring out how I can challenge myself to try new things in bed, but I used to wonder if I’d overcompensated when I was younger. There was a point in my sex life where I felt like I was stuck in something of a rut that I only half-acknowledged even existed. After all, how could I be stuck in a rut when I was so adventurous in bed? In the end, I realised that even though it might feel like I’ve tried a bit of everything, things aren’t always going to feel similar to things I’ve already explored because I will be trying them with newfound wisdom acquired through my years, new perspectives on old experiences, and possibly with new partners.

And besides, so what if I’ve tried it before? You don’t find new favourites by experiencing something once, loving it, and then never having it again, right? 😏😏

Get kinky with BDSM play

It’s no secret that ya girl is a kinky little thing who lets her freak flag fly proudly, and so it’s probably not going to surprise anyone that the first thing I’m suggesting is BDSM play.

BDSM is an umbrella term that refers to a spectrum of sexual behaviours and preferences that cover a lot of avenues, including:

• Bondage (being restrained/restraining someone else, such as with cuffs or tying them up with rope)

• Discipline (‘discipline’ can mean different things to different people and can range anywhere from devising a set of rules for partners to follow during a scene to using a gag on a submissive/brat who likes to talk back)

• Domination/submission (where one partner is subservient to another, which can take many sexual or non-sexual forms)

• Sadism/Masochism/Sadomasochism (sadists enjoy giving out pain to a willing recipient, and masochists are turned on by experiencing pain. Sadomasochists enjoy the best of both worlds!)

There can be a lot of crossover between the categories, but generally, BDSM centres around a consensual power exchange within an intimate context, with all parties involved taking care to openly discuss and respect each other’s boundaries. It doesn’t have to involve sex if you don’t want it to, but BDSM is a great way to spice up your sex life!

To easily get into a Dom/sub dynamic, you can try having one partner wear a collar while the Dominant holds the leash. My set is silicone, which I love because it’s a cinch to clean with water after play, but there are plenty of other materials available, from soft, beginner-friendly fabric like this denim collar and leash set to leather for that traditional kinkster look, or faux leather if you want to keep things vegan-friendly.

Pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin, especially when you have the right tools in your toy box! If you’re a fan of deep, cathartic thudding rather than stinging pain, a flogger made of heavier, softer materials like the Yiwu Faux Leather & Suede Flogger or a fur-lined spanking paddle is the perfect choice. If you prefer the sharp bite of more sting-y pain, a riding crop, intense impact cane, or even a flogger made of stiffer materials like this leather flogger from Zorba will do the trick!

If you like the sound of bondage but aren’t confident with tying knots in rope, you can add a bondage element with a simple pair of cuffs or even an under-bed restraint system that works with any mattress and tucks under it for neat and discreet storage—this one from Sportsheets® has Velcro closure so you don’t even have to worry about buckles if you’d prefer a quick and easy release. I personally have a set that doesn’t get nearly enough use, so perhaps first up on my sex bucket list is to find more ways to enjoy my under-bed restraints, both as the captive and the captor…

How to spice up your sex life with new locations

*I’m going to preface this section by reminding y’all that public indecency laws exist, and that they can vary from state to state. Exercise your best judgement and if in doubt, err on the side of caution so you don’t end up in trouble with the police, or on certain lists!*

I’ve never been all that interested in having sex in risky places outside the home and am honestly more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist, but I know that this can be quite the thrill for some people. The most out-there place I’ve ever had sex is on my balcony, but it was 3am and I live almost 40 storeys up so it wasn’t exactly in a ‘public’ place (and I also don’t recommend it if you’re in a similar living situation unless you have a comfortable seating situation out there, it was so cold and windy)! If possible, practise consensual acts of exhibitionism, like sending racy photos between you and a partner you know wants to receive them, or posing naked at art classes or photoshoots that have requested a nude model (where you and everyone else should be conducting themselves with care and respect).

If you’re looking to spice up your sex life with new locations, consider heading to ticketed events at BDSM clubs or private sex parties, which are fun (and less risky) places to have sex outside the home. In addition to specialist equipment like bondage horses, sex swings, and St. Andrew’s Crosses, these events bring with them the thrill of being watched without having to worry about getting in trouble if you get caught by an unsuspecting member of the public—everyone there will have consented to seeing lewd acts and sexual activity unfolding before them, either because they had to pay to be there, or because they were personally invited by someone who told them what the party was about and then chose to accept that invitation. Professional venues like sex clubs will have their own rules of conduct to abide by, and you should always ask what someone is comfortable with before involving them in your fun. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to play with you—in my experience, there’s plenty happening at these types of events and you’ll find something or someone else to occupy you. Sometimes people just need a break or have different preferences, and there’s nothing wrong with that either!

I’ve always had fun at the swingers’ nights I’ve been to, and the one private party I’ve attended was also a great time where I learned a lot about myself, and the partner I was at the party with. I can safely have this idea ticked off my sex bucket list, but it doesn’t mean I can’t keep going back to enjoy them again and again! 🥳🥳

Find some creative ways to include roleplay in your sex life

Personally, I find that getting out of my own head and into the mindspace of another is a great way to unlock all-new sex, because I’m not holding myself back or freaking out about my usual hang ups since my ‘new persona’ isn’t concerned about the same things. Roleplay costumes are a great way to get into character, so if you or a partner has any specific fantasies, costumes can make it easier to explore them in a scene!

Sexyland customers can’t get enough of schoolgirl-oriented costumes, so some of our bestsellers include this plaid miniskirt and ruffled tie-up crop top, as well as this tantalising teacher costume set. We’ve also been seeing an uptick in wet look costumes, perfect for all you fashionable fetishists who love adding a touch of kink to all your hot lingerie looks.

One of my favourite ways to indulge in roleplay is to have my partner and I pretend we don’t know each other, then stage a meet-cute encounter and go on a ‘first date’ with them all over again. I always learn new things about them, and sometimes myself too!

Experiment with sensation play

Sensation play involves stimulation that engages the 5 senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch), or a lack of stimulation known as ‘sensory deprivation’. The latter involves limiting one or more senses to enhance others, such as wearing a blindfold to heighten how sensitive you are to touch, which can also be a fun way to deepen a trusting bond with a partner.

Sensation play usually focuses on touch and physical stimulation, which can include:

• Massage—this is a great beginner-friendly way to explore sensation play as it’s usually quite a relaxing experience and doesn’t require any extra equipment. If you’d like to elevate your massage experience, luxurious massage oils are never a bad idea.

• Tickling—you can tickle yourself or a partner with feathers, Wartenberg pinwheels, and your own fingernails as lightly or as intensely as you like so you can find that perfect line between torture and tantalisation. For a beginner-friendly way to try this type of sensation play, a feather tickler is a must-have.

• Wax play—this involves lighting drip candles and letting the wax melt onto a partner’s skin from a height, providing a sudden thrill of warmth as the hot wax lands on their skin. You can combine this with a massage by using a massage candle where the wax melts into a lovely warm massage oil, and from there, I’ll let your imagination guide you through the rest…

• Temperature play—this involves experimenting with hot and cold and to create a thrilling contrast between the recipient’s skin and whatever you’re using on them, such as dripping warm, melted wax onto the skin or running a wet ice cube over the nipples. I recommend licking or wetting the ice cube with water first so it doesn’t have any dry edges that might stick uncomfortably to the skin. You can also try holding an ice cube in your mouth before going down on a partner and licking them with your refreshingly cool tongue (best done in the summertime)! I’ve done this to other people (almost all of whom enjoyed it more than normal-temperature oral play), but I’m not someone who enjoys receiving oral all that much so I’ve never experienced it for myself. Guess I need to add it to the sex bucket list!

Feeling inspired to challenge yourself to try new things in bed? Pop into your nearest Sexyland adult store and chat to our friendly Fun Specialists about exciting and adventurous sex ideas to try in bed and how to challenge yourself to bring them to life, or shop online and browse our full range of awesome adult toys and sensual sex enhancers that are worth adding to your sex bucket list!

Now get out there and love yourselves.

NJ xx