Why Bondage Sex Is Gaining Popularity

It seems like these days, BDSM bondage play is everywhere, from fashion trends to Netflix shows, and if you’ve noticed, it’s not just you, BDSM really is getting more popular!

BDSM, an umbrella term that encompasses bondage, discipline, Dominance/submission, and sado-masochism, used to be considered a ‘fringe’ sexual activity that only a small percentage of the adult population was interested in, but that all changed in 2011 once E.L. James’ BDSM romance novel Fifty Shades of Grey hit shelves. Whether or not you were a fan, or have even read the book series, there’s no denying that Fifty Shades became one of the most prolifically well-known novels in modern history, topping bestseller lists all over the world and doing what even porn could not: normalising kink and bringing it into the mainstream. As the book’s popularity rose, sex toy and adult pleasure marketers saw major surges in sales of BDSM gear, and even hardware stores reported an unexpected spike in sales of rope, which just goes to show the resourcefulness of creative kinksters (though we have safer purpose-built bondage restraints, cuffs, and rope alternatives that we’ll be recommending later in this article)!

The unexpected popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey piqued researchers’ interest in BDSM, and it turns out that the current interest in BDSM has had a significant impact on adult relationships across the world. What effect could it have on yours? 😉

What Is Bondage Sex & Why Is It So Popular?

Bondage sex, or having a bondage kink, refers to a form of sex play that involves consensually restricting the movement of a partner to give or receive sexual pleasure. This can be done with rope, cuffs, spreader bars, and other restraints, depending on what setting, furniture, and other equipment are available to help you set up your scene.

One of the top reasons engaging in BDSM can enhance intimate relationships is that it inherently requires all partners to trust and respect each other completely, which fosters closeness and bonding over deepening trust. After all, intimacy involves showing your partner who you really are, but revealing yourself like this can be scary, especially for folks who are worried that certain sexual fantasies will be considered ‘weird’ or ‘perverted’. Consequently, some people never discuss their sexual fantasies with anyone, including their partners, which means their relationships are less intimate than they could be. However, when people admit to having BDSM fantasies and their partners don’t shy away, but instead express that they’re open to fulfilling those desires in a sincere and mutually consenting manner, it encourages new closeness that feels profoundly intimate and deepens mutual affection in ways that go beyond just sex!

And let’s not forget the obvious reason bondage sex is so popular: it’s fun! Just like adult toys, lingerie, and dirty talk, spicing up your love life with BDSM is a great way to spice things up behind closed doors! Many people find the power dynamics involved in bondage sexually arousing, and variety is the spice of life after all…

The Basics of BDSM Bondage Safety

Regardless of what kind of relationship or connection exists between you and your playmates, it’s important to build a solid foundation of trust, comfort, and feeling safe with each other before embarking on a kink journey together. Prior to play, you should always have an honest, open conversation about what everybody’s expectations, desires, and limits are, including safewords (both verbal and non-verbal safewords like jangling a set of keys for scenes involving gags or bondage restraints).

The kink community has several safety systems that ensure everyone is having a good time and nobody is being harmed in a way they did not consent to. No one system is better than the others, the main difference between the systems is how specific they get when it comes to handling risk, and whichever system most suits you is the best one for you.

SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual)

This is the original system that keeps kinky play on the right track in terms of ensuring everyone is having a good time and not being hurt (outside of what they have consented to). People who practise SSC ask themselves three questions:

1. Safe, is what I’m about to do safe?
2. Sane, is this a rational thing to do?
3. Consensual, does everyone actively and enthusiastically consent to being involved in the scene?

Of course, in order for SSC to work, everyone needs to already agree on what qualifies as ‘safe’ and ‘sane’ to them. If your opinions turn out to be different, the ambiguity can lead to confusion and lines being unintentionally crossed, so clear communication that bridges those gaps is especially important.

RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink)

This system was created for kinky folks who felt SSC was too vague and lays everything out in a more specific checklist:

1. Risk-Aware, are you aware of the risks involved in what you are about to do? Can you name the risks? What strategies do you have in place to prevent or avoid them?
2. Consensual, does everyone actively, enthusiastically consent to what’s about to happen? Is everyone able to affirm or reaffirm consent when necessary?
3. Kink, do you understand exactly what event/activity is about to take place in the scene?

If you confirm you understand the whole RACK checklist in regards to your scene, everyone can proceed more confidently knowing that all partners really are on the same page, and trusting that not only does everybody know what they’re doing, but also that they will speak up if they are uncomfortable at any point.

PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink)

This system reminds all players that they need to take personal responsibility for their kinks and that it’s on them to inform themselves about what’s involved and what can go wrong. Being informed is the only way for kink to be truly consensual, because saying ‘yes’ to something you don’t fully understand, by definition, cannot be considered informed consent!

Whichever system you end up going with, establishing consent is not only necessary, but also can be an exciting way to negotiate desires to build anticipation and connect deeply before play starts,it might even give you some spicy ideas of how to please each other even better… 😏

Bondage safety

When it comes to bondage safety basics, one of the most important things to remember is that the tied-up person often has very little or no ability to help themselves in situations where injury is normally easy to avoid, such as falling off a bed, stabilising themselves on wobbly furniture, or breaking a fall from an upright position. As such, it’s imperative that the Dominant partner does everything in their power to ensure the sub is protected from general mishaps and doesn’t do anything that could lead to unintentional injury.

Another thing to keep in mind is that if used improperly, rope and other similar ties can put excessive pressure directly on a nerve (most often by crushing it against a bone), which compresses the nerves and can result in nerve damage. Nerve damage from BDSM injuries can range from mildly annoying to long-lasting, debilitating harm, so remember to check in with each other regularly and massage areas that are likely to experience reduced circulation to check that the sub can feel touch normally. When tensioned properly, you should be able to comfortably slide a finger under the tie to check that it’s not too tight. Avoid tying or allowing restraints to settle into danger zones like joints (wrists, elbows, ankles, and knees), and always choose wide restraints instead of thin or narrow ones, as thicker designs won’t dig into the skin as much and are generally more comfortable for the wearer.

If the sub experiences any of the following, pause play and loosen the restraints, or end the scene and completely untie them (or use bondage scissors for fast release):

• tingling and numbness (like when you sit on your foot and it goes to sleep)
• sharp pain
• itching
• burning
• feeling cold
• discolouring of the skin
• swelling/puffiness at the extremities or directly under a tie

Getting Started Safely with Bondage Sets & BDSM Gear

Sexyland sells a variety of beginner-friendly bondage toys and BDSM gear to suit players who are just getting started with their kink journey. Here are some of our favourites:

• Sexyland Cotton Bondage Rope, this super-soft rope is a quarter-inch thick for durability and comfort against the captive’s skin. It’s available in 5-metre, 10-metre, and 20-metre lengths, and there’s also a silky 10m version if you prefer a more luxe feel.
• Scandal® Bed Restraint Kit With Cuffs, Ball Gag & Blindfold, this erotic collection comes with everything you need to enjoy a night of BDSM roleplay, including a set of under-mattress bondage bed restraints, a breathable ball gag, and a comfortable eye mask to blindfold the wearer if you’re in the mood for sensory deprivation, which will heighten their other senses and increase their sensitivity to whatever else you have in store for them…
• ZYL Fur-Lined Faux Leather Wrist Cuffs, if you like the comfort of fluffy cuffs but prefer the look of leather, these bondage cuffs will give you the best of both worlds with their faux fur interior and vegan leather outer!
• Winyi 13-Piece Faux Leather Bondage Kit Bag, this vegan-friendly bondage set is the ultimate kit and contains everything you and your lover need to start exploring pain, pleasure, and trust in BDSM. It comes with dedicated wrist and ankle cuffs plus two connectors, a collar and chain leash, a spanking paddle, a silicone ball gag, an eye mask, and extra rings for compatibility with bondage rope and other accessories if you keep expanding your collection!

Ready to tie up more than just loose ends this week? Come see the range of bondage sets at your nearest Sexyland adult store or shop for bondage restraints online on our newly updated website and get 2hr Delivery on selected bestselling BDSM and bondage toys!